November 19 and 20

Jonelle and I had a more intense day dealing with children on the 19th.

We did unpack a box or two, including a box with old dolls (two I had made and one my aunt made for me when I was five), a few wedding gifts. That was fun.

One of the boxes held the remains of my earring collection. We spent some time looking through them. Jonelle helped me figure out which ones are both fun and funky and age appropriate. (I fought hard to wear the ceramic butterflies still, but, as I am no longer 12, I will stick with more classic earrings.) That was a restful, helpful thing.

The next morning, I spent an hour with Caleb and Eliana, feeding Caleb and talking with Eliana. Then I fell asleep. Meanwhile, Jonelle and Phil moved the incredibly heavy wood-burning stove with brute strength.

Then they moved the refrigerator the way the pros did it: they carried it! As in, picked it up by straps and lifted it where it needed to go. Most impressive!

I came then, and we moved the armoire into place. So fabulous, beautifully framed by the door.

Phil wondered aloud when Jonelle would touch up paint. A very fair question. So while I dealt with a hungry, fussy baby, Jonelle did all the touch-up paint on walls and ceiling. It took her much of the afternoon.

Then Jonelle and I went up to get box springs for the bed. No mice damage! Easy to carry! We moved them. The mattress itself was another story. We could hardly push it, let alone carry it.

So we went into the house and tried to make Jadon’s dresser look better. My parents found it by the side of the road while they were expecting me. It was an ugly green, but they saw the potential and refinished it. After a scrub and then a LOT of olive oil to make it look nice again, it was revitalized.

Right around then, Abraham mentioned that Phil had spilled some stuff at the back of the trailer and could I please go clean it up. That was an odd request—why couldn't Phil pick it up himself?

Because he had picked up the California King mattress and carried it, Samson-style, on his back.

“Do you have super-human strength?” Jonelle asked.

“I don’t know if it’s superhuman,” he replied, “but I am often surprised at how little other people can do when they come to help.”

We decided the cousins should have a slumber party. The children happily moved air mattresses, pillows, stuffed animals, and sleeping bags from the bunk bed to the floor.

In the night, Jonelle and I talked through much of my wardrobe. I was unsure of how to combine different pieces. This was so helpful: what works for me, and what doesn’t. I feel like I have renewed vision for what to wear, even in this chunky, post-partum phase.

November 18: My Sister Comes to Visit

Over the weekend, Phil worked on several tasks, aided for some hours by a friend. They finished most of the flooring, primarily. Phil bought doors and installed the sliding pocket doors. Without trim, they swing a bit crazily, but it is nice to have them in place.

My sister and her daughters came to visit, arriving Sunday night. We sat up late that first night and talked.

The 18th, though, had beautiful weather sunny, in the 60s. Knowing this might be the last time such a day comes this year, we decided to unpack as much of the storage trailer as we had strength and energy to complete.

Phil and our electrician friend did wiring all day. Our friend joked that this is an electrician's worst nightmare, to have two women storing stuff while the house is being wired. I can see his point, but it was not a deterrent.

After four years, to move things out of storage and into Underground Storage was an amazing experience. In many ways, I had been both dreading it and looking forward to it. Phil happened upon the snake at one point; various cats have padded about; the number of stinkbugs around the perimeter explodes every fall. The space isn't really climate controlled (Phil's office, in the front, usually has the door shut). The climate is humid. Just how much damage should I expect?

One box of books smelled musty and the box felt damp. A second showed visible signs of mildew. (That apparently began with a book purchased from a garage sale; perhaps latent mildew spread?) We uncovered the piano very early on and the bottom corner was discolored.

I had to step back to cry, just a bit. How bad would this be?

I kept uncovering the piano. It does have some very sticky keys; can that be fixed? Perhaps. Happily for the discolored bottom corner, the piano is not veneer, and it hasn't warped at all. (Unlike, sadly, the armoire that we bought two months ago: it has a huge bubble in the veneer after living a few months in the barn. Such a bummer!)

Incredibly, that was the extent of the damage. Two boxes of books that may be of questionable quality, and a bit of possible damage to the piano.

But my ivory knit afghan from Grandma: no damage. Same with the down comforters. And another afghan, which had some form of rodent droppings in it, but no chewing.

Our very large wool rug also had a collection of seeds and droppings in it, but no chewing damage at all. I pulled out a photo album and a bunch of seeds and such fell out from the spine, but there was no damage, not even a few nibbles. We found a few acorns in a box with some blankets—was a squirrel living in the storage trailer?

There are a few tiny nibble marks on the back of my pie-crust rolling out pad. So a bit at the edge of the side that faces the counter: no big deal. And that is all the rodent damage we've seen.

We did find the two boxes of precious artwork that have been packed away for four years.

For the present, Jonelle did the popular "lean" in the playroom. It looks so nice!

Overall, I was pleased to see that, really, we don't have that much stuff! After we got through the stored clothes and assorted randomness at the entrance of the trailer, we have just the kitchen table, our bed, and the piano by way of large furniture. As Jonelle said, "About a third of your stuff is just books." At least.

We found photo albums. And then sat up until late at night and looked through them.

Minimalist Books?

Although we've owned it for a few years, we had never played Bananagrams. Perhaps that was out of respect for Phil (and, now, Abraham), for whom bananas are almost that-which-shall-not-be-named. Phil was away a few nights ago, though, so Jadon, Isaiah, and I played. (Abraham looked the other way.) I was quite impressed by Jadon's word choices. Although he did spell "gels," "eddy," "ruff," and "dell" incorrectly, the fact that he thought of those words ... as I said, I was impressed. Not to mention the properly spelled "vixens" (thank you, Bill Watterson, for Calvin's request for Venusian Vampire Vixens).

We had a good time. I would play again, even!

The first week of life, Caleb wasn't very spitty. After a doctor's appointment, though, it seemed like he became a good bit more spitty, until I started to wonder if he was going to be a geyser forever.

Joe was spitty, too. Well, he actually was a projectile vomiter, and the midwife grew concerned because he wasn't gaining weight. His spits were foul smelling, but the moment I quit eating dairy, he quit spitting.

Caleb doesn't projectile vomit, and it doesn't smell bad. But it just burbles out. And out. And out. Poor baby!

I was preparing to give up dairy again, when I thought to check online.

One of the recommendations was to make sure you don't press on the belly. That was a light bulb moment—I had watched the doctor put Caleb's diaper on more tightly than I had been. This was back in the days of horrid Huggies, and I figured a tighter diaper might help with the leaks. But that was a definite mechanical change after week one.

So I've loosened the diapers. And I've tried to make sure I burp the baby a few times while he eats. And though he's not entirely spit-free, it's been an impressive reduction.

And I dare say, even with the spits, he's not languishing in skinny-baby land.

I have spent hours this week working on book repairs. And I read about a family that minimalized the things in their life. I think, in some ways, we've been forced into that: now seven people in 224 square feet does not allow for lots of extraneous possessions. But looking at the books has made me really assess the collection.

I don't think I'll ever be a minimalist in books. In part because I'm not a fan of the library (I've reviewed too many books and looked through hundreds of book catalogs—I have a good idea what's on the shelves, and I'm not impressed, not to mention the stress of remembering to return the books: at least a 40 minute round-trip drive). In part because I will have at least five sons who need a variety of reading material. In part because, once I find a book friend, I don't want to turn the friend out. I want it near me!

Phil and our electrician friend worked on wiring all day yesterday. Phil had a few days this week working on engineering and visiting friends and family. I think he felt like it was a vacation.

It Is 11/12/13

It astonishes me how much time Caleb takes. Not in minutes, necessarily, but in needing to be available at almost any minute. He usually takes a three hour nap in the middle of the day, but not always. We have a system where a family member always stays with him and comes to get me if he starts crying and I am away. (This started last week when I left Joe with Caleb and went to milk. I was not clear enough in my instructions, and Joe didn't realize that he was baby-sitting, and blithely headed out. I returned from milking to find Caleb screaming in panic, all alone. He wouldn't have been alone for very long, but that sort of scream is absolutely unacceptable.)

I am summoned, usually, a couple times a day.

I don't leave the house more than a couple times a day.

As for milking, after such a hopeful day last week, Bethany started giving about 8 cups a day, spread over two milkings. Since her calf eats 16 cups of milk replacer, that is ridiculous. After about four days, I finally turned the calf in with her mom yesterday. I will hope that a few days of nursing will get Bethany's milk production up enough to at least yield a gallon or so a day. My goodness. How frustrating. (But since the weather is heading into the low 20s tonight and tomorrow night, I'm not going to bemoan a lack of opportunity to milk. Brr!)

Phil has spent some time working on storage cabinets. At one point, he realized that, although he had followed the installation instructions, somehow the spacing was off by an inch, and he had to tear out all that he had installed the day before. When he came to tell me, he looked almost ashen faced. It ended up being only a few hours to redo (which, in the scope of our building process is almost nothing), but it was one of the more emotionally devastating things he's encountered, I think. It takes a lot to make Phil look ashen.

I have been in a cleaning frenzy. The boys have their school books in cardboard boxes, and I pulled them out today to find dust bunnies living in each box. A friend in elementary school had a sign that said, "This house protected by killer dust bunnies." I remember that because, at the time, I had no idea what a dust bunny was. The sign made no sense to me. My house of origin didn't have dust bunnies (go, Mom!).

My house-trailer, though, is protected by both killer dust bunnies and red clay dust on everything. I take a handful of books, blow the tops out the window, then slap the covers and clouds rise off. It is frustrating. I love to have my books out, because seeing them makes me happy. But looking at the tops of the books, at the little orange tint they have all acquired, makes me wonder if I'm doing the books a disservice.

I have also had some good time to repair my books. After getting the library supplies, I had a friend come down last Friday and sit and talk for four hours while we taped up tears and broken spines and, on occasion, dust jackets (not always, though. Many dust jackets went right into the trash). That felt good.

I have books on the mind. I like that.

Thursday, November 7

For about a year, I have known Isaiah had a cavity in a baby tooth, and it looked like he had a second one in another tooth. This was horribly embarrassing to me. I was the Weston A. Price Foundation chapter leader for this area for a year, after all. I study good nutrition. I read in the Wise Traditions journal about people whose cavities heal after the consumption of fermented cod liver oil, bone broth, and raw milk. All of which we also consume ... sometimes. I gave up on the cod liver oil after throwing it up in early pregnancy, and didn't give it to the boys, either. I didn't make much bone broth, either, and we clearly haven't had much raw milk over the last four years.

And did I mention none of us have gone to the dentist in the last five years? (The last trip, when we still lived in Boulder, the dentist, although respectful, was visibly taken aback that we used no fluoride products, but when we left, he said, "Keep doing what you're doing, because your teeth look great!")

Two weeks ago, Isaiah started to cry because his tooth hurt so much. I gave him homeopathic Hepar sulph and made an appointment for the earliest possible day.

We are fortunate—a holistic dentist out of Northern Virginia comes to Charlottesville every couple of weeks (and if you are local and in need of a new dentist, go there!). Isaiah had no wait, and went right back. I wasn't sure if they would do an extraction (it is a baby tooth that most children lose between ages 9 and 11, and Isaiah will be 10 soon), or a filling. Both Phil and I lost teeth well behind the normal schedule, and because that tooth showed no signs of movement, the dentist said that a filling would be better, because otherwise the teeth would move around and cause different problems.

He had no problem waiting on filling the second tooth, though. The cavity wasn't as bad, and the dentist didn't raise an eyebrow about cavities healing themselves. "We've seen some crazy things." Perfect! If we have to fill it later, so be it, but we're not losing anything by waiting.

He did the entire filling without a numbing agent, and Isaiah didn't flinch once. And this with a cavity that did go all the way to the nerve! I remember from my three fillings as an adult, wondering if the numbing agent was really necessary for three cavities I couldn't feel. (I suspect not.)

Even better, for my wounded pride, the dentist said that baby teeth have thin enamel. The two teeth directly correspond to acupuncture meridians, so whatever organ or organs were affected may have been affected just during a brief time of stress, which destroyed the two teeth in short order. "The rest of the teeth are clean and strong." So I may still be a bad mother, but not as bad as I had feared.

I had been growing concerned about my own teeth, too. I could feel a little pit with my tongue; the gum line felt tender in places; I am a life-long teeth grinder ("chronic bruxism"). So I, too, had an appointment. The dentist graciously let Isaiah lean right over my mouth and watch all the tools as he worked; he answered all questions and explained the procedures.

My pit turned out to be a bit of tooth that probably didn't develop properly, but is now well-calcified. Not a cavity. My teeth, in all visible places, were clean (thank you, SoniCare!): just below the gum line did I have plaque. The gum line tenderness is because I gave up flossing during pregnancy.

One surprising thing we found is that Isaiah is tongue-tied. Apparently, if a person opens his mouth all the way, he should still be able to touch the upper palate. That seems hard to believe, as neither Phil nor I can do that, either, but assuming that is accurate, no wonder Isaiah mumbles sometimes! (This is not the normal kind of tongue-tie, where the tongue can hardly come out of the mouth. There is another kind of tongue-tie, where the sides of the back of the tongue are tied, which makes it hard for babies to latch on properly. When this happens, air gets into the tummy, and causes colic. That was new information to me!)

So all in all, it was a cheery, wonderful visit. And it didn't cost as much as I had feared. I got the other three boys on the appointment books for the next available time.

Isaiah said, "I think I might like to be a dentist!" And I bet he would be a good one.

That trek took almost five hours. Phil had been working away on storage cabinets, and he's doing a good job. There was one terrible moment, though, where he was trying to hang a large cabinet (as always, by himself) and, due to its awkward size, it slipped. That would have been enough, but it knocked a free-standing cabinet over, and this cabinet fell until it hit the drywall.

I came upon Phil shortly after this happened. He was sitting on a couch in the RV, looking dazed.

When I asked how much was damaged, fearing that both cabinets were smashed, and a huge hole ripped in the drywall, he said that, amazingly, the only damage was to the drywall, which now has a few scratches and dents. That's why we have paint. I'll take that damage.

In other news, Bethany upped her production to 18 cups for the day in two milkings, almost a 30% increase in a day. And she stood still and didn't poop three times during the ten minute milking as she had done the day before. I'll take that improvement.

I finally ordered a new coat, since my farm coat's zipper broke at the end of last winter, and it arrived today, so I will be warm next time I need to milk in the cold. I'm very pleased about that.

The boys have been enjoying all the Calvin and Hobbes books. Abraham even read some comic strips today, which made me so glad. Bill Watterson uses quite the vocabulary, so clearly Abraham's reading confidence has soared, that he was willing to attempt it. (It did make me smile, though, as he was reading them to Joe. Jadon has read all the strips aloud so often, as Abraham carefully read each word, Joe would usually finish the sentences, since he has them memorized.) This would have frustrated me, but it appeared to phase Abraham not a bit.

Wednesday, November 6

Phil caught Bethany and tied her up for me this morning. That was helpful. It wasn't as cold as it's been. That was helpful. Bethany is figuring out what we want from her (she has been milked before, though not for some years and not, I believe, ever by hand). That was helpful. She did knock over the pail a bit when Shadow got too close, but Shadow is still realizing that she needs to stay away at milking.

And rather than wait a full 12 hours until it is dark, I milked at about 8am and about 5pm. Fourteen cups in two milkings is not great, but I'll certainly take that over a quart a day!

Caleb is settling in to a good wake and sleep cycle. He falls asleep for the night around 10:30pm and wakes up around 7:30am ready to eat and doze and eat. He does nurse on and off through the night, but we are both used to it, mostly, so I don't feel like I'm being jerked awake all night.

He has been taking one really good, long nap for about three hours in the middle of the day. The rest of the day he is awake or dozing asleep, but it's not such a long stretch of deep sleep.

Phil spent the day working on storage cabinets. He put down rosin paper and then pulled the saw out of the room that still needs flooring.

It is a bit overwhelming to see how much packaging there is.

He worked well through the day, until right about 5pm, when the drill bit he needed was just a bit too large. He ended up running in to town, because he knew Thursday would have no time for errands.

Tuesday, November 5

Phil had, in many ways, a wasted day. He had to scan a document, and our scanner had finally died last week. So he had to go up to town. He figured it might be good to buy a scanner instead of paying at the FedEx Store, but after stopping at two promising shops, he left without scanner and having wasted several hours. (It's amazing to me that anyone shops in brick and mortar stores anymore, when one could order exactly what one wants.) He confessed that, on the way home, he was so sick of driving hither and yon that he felt almost desperate.

With Phil's efforts on Monday, I was able to move the first thing into storage. I had a friend come to visit, and another friend drop by unexpectedly, so it was a fun day of celebrating new storage.

Phil and Isaiah managed to get the calf separated from Bethany again, sometime around midday. I had a nice day off of milking and will start again tomorrow.