Minimalist Books?

Although we've owned it for a few years, we had never played Bananagrams. Perhaps that was out of respect for Phil (and, now, Abraham), for whom bananas are almost that-which-shall-not-be-named. Phil was away a few nights ago, though, so Jadon, Isaiah, and I played. (Abraham looked the other way.) I was quite impressed by Jadon's word choices. Although he did spell "gels," "eddy," "ruff," and "dell" incorrectly, the fact that he thought of those words ... as I said, I was impressed. Not to mention the properly spelled "vixens" (thank you, Bill Watterson, for Calvin's request for Venusian Vampire Vixens).

We had a good time. I would play again, even!

The first week of life, Caleb wasn't very spitty. After a doctor's appointment, though, it seemed like he became a good bit more spitty, until I started to wonder if he was going to be a geyser forever.

Joe was spitty, too. Well, he actually was a projectile vomiter, and the midwife grew concerned because he wasn't gaining weight. His spits were foul smelling, but the moment I quit eating dairy, he quit spitting.

Caleb doesn't projectile vomit, and it doesn't smell bad. But it just burbles out. And out. And out. Poor baby!

I was preparing to give up dairy again, when I thought to check online.

One of the recommendations was to make sure you don't press on the belly. That was a light bulb moment—I had watched the doctor put Caleb's diaper on more tightly than I had been. This was back in the days of horrid Huggies, and I figured a tighter diaper might help with the leaks. But that was a definite mechanical change after week one.

So I've loosened the diapers. And I've tried to make sure I burp the baby a few times while he eats. And though he's not entirely spit-free, it's been an impressive reduction.

And I dare say, even with the spits, he's not languishing in skinny-baby land.

I have spent hours this week working on book repairs. And I read about a family that minimalized the things in their life. I think, in some ways, we've been forced into that: now seven people in 224 square feet does not allow for lots of extraneous possessions. But looking at the books has made me really assess the collection.

I don't think I'll ever be a minimalist in books. In part because I'm not a fan of the library (I've reviewed too many books and looked through hundreds of book catalogs—I have a good idea what's on the shelves, and I'm not impressed, not to mention the stress of remembering to return the books: at least a 40 minute round-trip drive). In part because I will have at least five sons who need a variety of reading material. In part because, once I find a book friend, I don't want to turn the friend out. I want it near me!

Phil and our electrician friend worked on wiring all day yesterday. Phil had a few days this week working on engineering and visiting friends and family. I think he felt like it was a vacation.

It Is 11/12/13

It astonishes me how much time Caleb takes. Not in minutes, necessarily, but in needing to be available at almost any minute. He usually takes a three hour nap in the middle of the day, but not always. We have a system where a family member always stays with him and comes to get me if he starts crying and I am away. (This started last week when I left Joe with Caleb and went to milk. I was not clear enough in my instructions, and Joe didn't realize that he was baby-sitting, and blithely headed out. I returned from milking to find Caleb screaming in panic, all alone. He wouldn't have been alone for very long, but that sort of scream is absolutely unacceptable.)

I am summoned, usually, a couple times a day.

I don't leave the house more than a couple times a day.

As for milking, after such a hopeful day last week, Bethany started giving about 8 cups a day, spread over two milkings. Since her calf eats 16 cups of milk replacer, that is ridiculous. After about four days, I finally turned the calf in with her mom yesterday. I will hope that a few days of nursing will get Bethany's milk production up enough to at least yield a gallon or so a day. My goodness. How frustrating. (But since the weather is heading into the low 20s tonight and tomorrow night, I'm not going to bemoan a lack of opportunity to milk. Brr!)

Phil has spent some time working on storage cabinets. At one point, he realized that, although he had followed the installation instructions, somehow the spacing was off by an inch, and he had to tear out all that he had installed the day before. When he came to tell me, he looked almost ashen faced. It ended up being only a few hours to redo (which, in the scope of our building process is almost nothing), but it was one of the more emotionally devastating things he's encountered, I think. It takes a lot to make Phil look ashen.

I have been in a cleaning frenzy. The boys have their school books in cardboard boxes, and I pulled them out today to find dust bunnies living in each box. A friend in elementary school had a sign that said, "This house protected by killer dust bunnies." I remember that because, at the time, I had no idea what a dust bunny was. The sign made no sense to me. My house of origin didn't have dust bunnies (go, Mom!).

My house-trailer, though, is protected by both killer dust bunnies and red clay dust on everything. I take a handful of books, blow the tops out the window, then slap the covers and clouds rise off. It is frustrating. I love to have my books out, because seeing them makes me happy. But looking at the tops of the books, at the little orange tint they have all acquired, makes me wonder if I'm doing the books a disservice.

I have also had some good time to repair my books. After getting the library supplies, I had a friend come down last Friday and sit and talk for four hours while we taped up tears and broken spines and, on occasion, dust jackets (not always, though. Many dust jackets went right into the trash). That felt good.

I have books on the mind. I like that.

Thursday, November 7

For about a year, I have known Isaiah had a cavity in a baby tooth, and it looked like he had a second one in another tooth. This was horribly embarrassing to me. I was the Weston A. Price Foundation chapter leader for this area for a year, after all. I study good nutrition. I read in the Wise Traditions journal about people whose cavities heal after the consumption of fermented cod liver oil, bone broth, and raw milk. All of which we also consume ... sometimes. I gave up on the cod liver oil after throwing it up in early pregnancy, and didn't give it to the boys, either. I didn't make much bone broth, either, and we clearly haven't had much raw milk over the last four years.

And did I mention none of us have gone to the dentist in the last five years? (The last trip, when we still lived in Boulder, the dentist, although respectful, was visibly taken aback that we used no fluoride products, but when we left, he said, "Keep doing what you're doing, because your teeth look great!")

Two weeks ago, Isaiah started to cry because his tooth hurt so much. I gave him homeopathic Hepar sulph and made an appointment for the earliest possible day.

We are fortunate—a holistic dentist out of Northern Virginia comes to Charlottesville every couple of weeks (and if you are local and in need of a new dentist, go there!). Isaiah had no wait, and went right back. I wasn't sure if they would do an extraction (it is a baby tooth that most children lose between ages 9 and 11, and Isaiah will be 10 soon), or a filling. Both Phil and I lost teeth well behind the normal schedule, and because that tooth showed no signs of movement, the dentist said that a filling would be better, because otherwise the teeth would move around and cause different problems.

He had no problem waiting on filling the second tooth, though. The cavity wasn't as bad, and the dentist didn't raise an eyebrow about cavities healing themselves. "We've seen some crazy things." Perfect! If we have to fill it later, so be it, but we're not losing anything by waiting.

He did the entire filling without a numbing agent, and Isaiah didn't flinch once. And this with a cavity that did go all the way to the nerve! I remember from my three fillings as an adult, wondering if the numbing agent was really necessary for three cavities I couldn't feel. (I suspect not.)

Even better, for my wounded pride, the dentist said that baby teeth have thin enamel. The two teeth directly correspond to acupuncture meridians, so whatever organ or organs were affected may have been affected just during a brief time of stress, which destroyed the two teeth in short order. "The rest of the teeth are clean and strong." So I may still be a bad mother, but not as bad as I had feared.

I had been growing concerned about my own teeth, too. I could feel a little pit with my tongue; the gum line felt tender in places; I am a life-long teeth grinder ("chronic bruxism"). So I, too, had an appointment. The dentist graciously let Isaiah lean right over my mouth and watch all the tools as he worked; he answered all questions and explained the procedures.

My pit turned out to be a bit of tooth that probably didn't develop properly, but is now well-calcified. Not a cavity. My teeth, in all visible places, were clean (thank you, SoniCare!): just below the gum line did I have plaque. The gum line tenderness is because I gave up flossing during pregnancy.

One surprising thing we found is that Isaiah is tongue-tied. Apparently, if a person opens his mouth all the way, he should still be able to touch the upper palate. That seems hard to believe, as neither Phil nor I can do that, either, but assuming that is accurate, no wonder Isaiah mumbles sometimes! (This is not the normal kind of tongue-tie, where the tongue can hardly come out of the mouth. There is another kind of tongue-tie, where the sides of the back of the tongue are tied, which makes it hard for babies to latch on properly. When this happens, air gets into the tummy, and causes colic. That was new information to me!)

So all in all, it was a cheery, wonderful visit. And it didn't cost as much as I had feared. I got the other three boys on the appointment books for the next available time.

Isaiah said, "I think I might like to be a dentist!" And I bet he would be a good one.

That trek took almost five hours. Phil had been working away on storage cabinets, and he's doing a good job. There was one terrible moment, though, where he was trying to hang a large cabinet (as always, by himself) and, due to its awkward size, it slipped. That would have been enough, but it knocked a free-standing cabinet over, and this cabinet fell until it hit the drywall.

I came upon Phil shortly after this happened. He was sitting on a couch in the RV, looking dazed.

When I asked how much was damaged, fearing that both cabinets were smashed, and a huge hole ripped in the drywall, he said that, amazingly, the only damage was to the drywall, which now has a few scratches and dents. That's why we have paint. I'll take that damage.

In other news, Bethany upped her production to 18 cups for the day in two milkings, almost a 30% increase in a day. And she stood still and didn't poop three times during the ten minute milking as she had done the day before. I'll take that improvement.

I finally ordered a new coat, since my farm coat's zipper broke at the end of last winter, and it arrived today, so I will be warm next time I need to milk in the cold. I'm very pleased about that.

The boys have been enjoying all the Calvin and Hobbes books. Abraham even read some comic strips today, which made me so glad. Bill Watterson uses quite the vocabulary, so clearly Abraham's reading confidence has soared, that he was willing to attempt it. (It did make me smile, though, as he was reading them to Joe. Jadon has read all the strips aloud so often, as Abraham carefully read each word, Joe would usually finish the sentences, since he has them memorized.) This would have frustrated me, but it appeared to phase Abraham not a bit.

Wednesday, November 6

Phil caught Bethany and tied her up for me this morning. That was helpful. It wasn't as cold as it's been. That was helpful. Bethany is figuring out what we want from her (she has been milked before, though not for some years and not, I believe, ever by hand). That was helpful. She did knock over the pail a bit when Shadow got too close, but Shadow is still realizing that she needs to stay away at milking.

And rather than wait a full 12 hours until it is dark, I milked at about 8am and about 5pm. Fourteen cups in two milkings is not great, but I'll certainly take that over a quart a day!

Caleb is settling in to a good wake and sleep cycle. He falls asleep for the night around 10:30pm and wakes up around 7:30am ready to eat and doze and eat. He does nurse on and off through the night, but we are both used to it, mostly, so I don't feel like I'm being jerked awake all night.

He has been taking one really good, long nap for about three hours in the middle of the day. The rest of the day he is awake or dozing asleep, but it's not such a long stretch of deep sleep.

Phil spent the day working on storage cabinets. He put down rosin paper and then pulled the saw out of the room that still needs flooring.

It is a bit overwhelming to see how much packaging there is.

He worked well through the day, until right about 5pm, when the drill bit he needed was just a bit too large. He ended up running in to town, because he knew Thursday would have no time for errands.

Tuesday, November 5

Phil had, in many ways, a wasted day. He had to scan a document, and our scanner had finally died last week. So he had to go up to town. He figured it might be good to buy a scanner instead of paying at the FedEx Store, but after stopping at two promising shops, he left without scanner and having wasted several hours. (It's amazing to me that anyone shops in brick and mortar stores anymore, when one could order exactly what one wants.) He confessed that, on the way home, he was so sick of driving hither and yon that he felt almost desperate.

With Phil's efforts on Monday, I was able to move the first thing into storage. I had a friend come to visit, and another friend drop by unexpectedly, so it was a fun day of celebrating new storage.

Phil and Isaiah managed to get the calf separated from Bethany again, sometime around midday. I had a nice day off of milking and will start again tomorrow.

Monday, November 4

I had milked Bethany on Saturday and got about a half gallon. Her milk hadn't come in yet, and it was too thick to strain, so the calf got that. On Sunday, she gave a gallon and a half in the morning. That was a good amount for a single milking, plenty for our family and a bit more than we need. And I would really prefer to do only one milking a day, so I didn't go out again, into the early dark evening.

Monday I got up and milked out a quart. That was all. It made me a bit hysterical. I had somehow managed to destroy Bethany's milk production in one day. One book said that, to support good milk production, one should milk at least twice a day. But, unwilling to go out into the cold and dark, and nursing most of the time between 6 and 10pm, I had chosen the easy way and we had not enough milk for ourselves, let alone the calf.

Phil and Isaiah combined Bethany and calf again in hopes milk production would increase. I was thankful I wouldn't have to milk in the evening, or the following morning. (I must have been really tired.)

I went in to get the baby dressed and found that he had outgrown most of his newborn onesies. Wow! Four weeks and large enough to need the next size up.

Phil wired up the first electrical outlet.

Because the exterior walls have no drywall, the end result is a bit of a chunky, industrial look. But I rather like it.

He also worked on the floor trim, so it goes to the wall in one storage room.

The main room was a bit rough, with a lot of cut-outs along one wall.

A few rooms aren't quite done yet along the edges, though the bulk of the rooms are done.

It's coming along!

Flooring Is Fun!

Phil woke up not feeling great. I had accidentally purchased the wrong type of sausage at Whole Foods last week, and the variety didn't quite give Phil a migraine, but he wasn't feeling well. And he got up to find me out with the calf, frustrated over my attempted milking (which involved a lot of dancing around), and a calf who would not stand still and suck. Well, she tried to suck, but didn't actually get anything to drink.

Phil had no better success. So he stopped and determined to try again later.

Long before Phil felt he had consumed enough coffee or rested his head, Abraham was begging to lay more flooring. While I washed dishes and listened to Car Talk, Abraham and Phil went to start laying floor. Only the very top of the board is bamboo, under about seven layers of touch finish.

Three times before Tom and Ray were done advising folks on their cars, Abraham came to ask if I wanted to come and watch what they were doing.

It was amazing to see. Put a board in place. Whack the tapping block along the edge and watch the board click into place.

Abraham fetches the next board, while the first is being whacked.

Board after board. I sat on the floor, baby on the front in the Ergo, and put in boards.

And when we got far enough in the main room, we transitioned into the next room (brilliant Phil had figured that that was what we would do, and it worked perfectly, with little need for cutting).

Sometime in the afternoon, Abraham got tired of carrying, and just ran around on the long expanse of new, smooth floor.

He was thrilled.

By the end of the day, we had done almost the whole house, minus some trim and a small room and a storage closet. It felt like a miracle!

By midday, the calf drank down her bottle, so that was a relief. No tubing this baby!

Phil also told me that Abraham had come down with hives while I was at the party the night before. Jadon has experience with how to deal with hives. He got the homeopathic tablets needed. And then, in a stroke of brilliance, he took the quercetin and nettle pills and dissolved them, not in water, but in EmergenC. He knew his brother wouldn't be able to swallow the herb pills. And he knew that he had issues swallowing the vitamin C horse pill. So he found the EmergenC, new to the house since he last had hives, and dissolved that, which also made the concoction taste better, if not look better.

Abraham was fine. And when Abraham came down with hives again on Saturday night, I watched Jadon go through the same sequence, including standing next to Abraham's bed for twenty minutes or so, patiently waiting for his brother to finish drinking the small mug.

Perhaps there is something in the flooring that is making Abraham break out? Hopefully not forever!

And I was so pleased to open a gift basket, placed in my car the night before. I had a diaper bag back when Jadon was born, but felt like my entire life was spent either stocking or unstocking that thing, or looking through the twenty pockets to see which one held the one thing I needed (usually I had to look through the nineteen wrong pockets before I found what I was looking for in the twentieth). No more diaper bags for me! Since then, I've used the pocket on the Ergo to carry a few wipes and a diaper, though with Caleb, I've needed a few more supplies, so I have carried a paper bag.

And that works. It tore last week as I got into church, entirely nullifying its usefulness. But I still supported the concept of a bag with no pockets. And that is what was in my gift basket: a handmade cloth bag with a single big pouch, about as close to a reusable grocery bag as you could get. Cute, thoughtful, needed ... and totally unimagined by me, so a welcome surprise.

And a cute hat that Caleb will live in for now.

November 1: Celebrate with the Saints

I think it's great that there's a day called "All Saints' Day." Almost twenty saints gathered to celebrate Caleb's birth.

My friend in charge of decorations (which were simple and beautiful) told a funny story about the orange vase, her "Pinterest fail." She had tried to blow paint into the jar to make it lovely, but after several hours, it looked "like I had dropped a bloody appendage into the jar." So she coated the entire inside with paint. Good. But when she went to fill the vase with water, the paint hadn't all dried, so there was a water line. (I think it marvelous that she went to all that effort, just to have a pretty vase to hold a happy sunflower.)

We had pumpkin cheesecake and fruit pizza (the latter we had at my bridal shower).

We played "Lykosh boy name match-up," which was challenging because, including Phil's first and middle name, that's twelve names, and Joe's full name isn't Joseph, which confused some.

We had people share a quote from a book, or a thought about me or the boys, and we had a range from "Plant a seed today," to "A life lived in fear is a life half lived" (from Strictly Ballroom), to Mary Cassatt mother-child paintings. (We did this at a baby party for Abraham's birth, and I love it! I love hearing what people are thinking about, or what they read and enjoy.)

I read one of my favorite poems, "The Lanyard," by Billy Collins.

And, in happy party success, everyone stayed for three hours. Perfect!

On the homestead, I spent about six hours vacuuming, until I had a blister forming on my thumb from the hard plastic of the shopvac hose.

Phil first pulled tape. Most of the walls looked great.

But there were definitely spots where the tape pulled away paint. The idea of doing touch ups, though, was more than Phil could bear. So, another day.

Phil researched how to lay floor. He planed and sanded the most egregious joint (which was still probably within the tolerance of the flooring).

He put down the first layer of cork underlayment.

He opened many packages, because we aren't supposed to use all from a box, lest there be some patches of similar color.

And he put down the first few boards, all of which required cut-outs to make them fit.

But then, with the daylight not going to last forever, he headed out to build a pen for the calf and a corral for Bethany.

I had showered in preparation for the celebration, but went to help bring cow and calf up to their new pen, clothed in clean clothes and necklace. Happily, Bethany was ready to go to greener pastures (literally), and Phil easily carried the baby upslope. All the other cows milled around the fence line, ignoring the new hay bale, bawling their ire at Bethany's fine feed. "What about us?" they were clearly yelling.

Caleb needed a bath, too, which basically means he gets stripped to his diaper and wiped all over with a warm wash cloth and good smelling soap.

I love how his hair turns reddish and curly when it gets wet.

And I put him in an outfit that said, "Instructions Not Included." Which is quite true!

When I returned home, many hours later, Phil and the boys had done a good-sized section of floor. Phil said that Abraham had been the board runner, bringing him a board while Phil installed it, then going back for another one. Then Isaiah and Joe wanted to help, too, until there was almost a brawl among the helpers. That made me laugh.

October 31: Painting Dribs and Drabs

Phil had a few more walls to finish, and a few walls to touch up. (Isaiah did a good job, but didn't ever figure out quite enough paint.) Phil also had to roughly cut in all the ceiling transitions, so he had a day of looking upwards. It wouldn't have seemed like that would have lasted a full day, but all the detail work takes time.

In other news, Jadon is quite the good big brother. If Caleb cries, he picks him up. He was looking up answers to a trivia "quiz" Isaiah was giving, and holding the baby. Every once in a while he would make Caleb "jump."

And we had another baby arrive. Bethany had been looking like it was time to birth for weeks now. We were expecting her delivery imminently a week or two ago. She was due, we figured, close to me. So we do share a birth month, at least. Phil had noticed that her backend was pulsing; she went off by herself into the woods. We checked her periodically, and Isaiah dashed up at one point: "Get the camera! She's pushing the baby out right now!" Sweet boy. I would have watched, and left the lazy home dwellers miss the event. But Isaiah wanted to share the excitement.

He led the way to her delivery spot. I was held up a bit by the younger boys, almost sobbing for me to please wait for them. Isaiah actually watched the calf flop out, but we were about fifteen seconds behind. The calf's head was tucked under its front legs, which looked pretty horrible. I did untangle that, and stripped the teats of any initial blockage, then left them alone. (And I had brought the camera, but none of the photos turned out.)

Then came the typical tug-of-war of emotions. Bethany is an experienced mother. Would she get the baby to eat colostrum in time? (Thirty minutes is ideal; two hours is still good; after that, the intestinal tract doesn't accept the nutrients as well.) I tend to want to interfere to make sure; Phil prefers a hands' off approach. We went with Phil's method, and it was fine.

Happily, too, the calf came on a day in the 70s, not the previous week when highs were in the 50s. It was really ideal weather for a new birth.