Monday, August 8, 2011

The Best of Times, the Worst of Times

Some days feel like the judgment of the Lord. For the last few weeks, there have been several examples where Phil will think to do something and I'll say, "Oh, no—we'll deal with that soon," or otherwise discourage him, only to find that his gut instinct was correct. I've been trying to be more encouraging, and not a constant nay-sayer, but apparently I have about eleven years of ingrained bad habits.

In the latest example, last Monday, as we corralled the sheep, Phil said, "Maybe I should just put up cattle panels." But as I thought about the to-do list before he flew out the next day, I discouraged him. And, really, we were working hard right up until the time we drove to the airport. In my recollection, there wasn't a spare hour or two of daylight.

So we corralled the sheep with our electric netting. And today Clementine, my favorite lamb, the beautiful girl out of our favorite ewe, turned up dead, tangled in the net. (Earlier this year we lost Clementine's sister Blessing, in birth. So we have no offspring from Zara, and she is getting up there in years.)

Phil, as the farmer, was almost in tears, absolutely sick. There is nothing to make such a sorrow better. For myself, I total the number of mammals we've lost, starting with the cow, and just think that farming is really hard. The senseless, possibly preventable deaths are so, so wretched.

So that is the sorrow of the day.

But otherwise, this was a joyful day. We sold our neighbor two of this year's lamb crop (just hours before our tragic loss). Isaiah rode with us, and even hopped into the holding pen, somehow fitting in with the two lambs.

Our neighbors to the south are graciously leasing us their warm-growth grass pasture. Phil spent most of the day putting up electric line along their wood fence, and tomorrow we just have to run a corridor from the lower pasture to their land, and the cows will be back on green grass. This was huge, huge progress.

And what a blessing to have both our neighbors allowing us to use their pasture. Last year, we bought hay every month but (maybe) one. What a difference this year, to have extra pastures to graze.

Also, today was Joe's birthday. Three is, perhaps, my favorite of all birthdays.

The child is old enough to know what is happening, and engage, but young enough to be absolutely thrilled and overwhelmed, no matter what gifts, or how many gifts, come. There are no expectations that may be disappointed, only surprise and pleasure. I wonder if that in depth gratitude is part of what Jesus meant when he said that we must come to God like a little child. Wonder, joy, thanksgiving.

So happy birthday, little buddy!

You make us laugh with your happy spirit.

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