Assorted Thoughts

A young lady from our church heard a request from an elderly blind lady: "Please come paint my apartment." Phil has a servant's heart. He, along with a few friends, headed out to do that on Saturday. He was away from well before nine until after five. He served someone he didn't know in the name of Christ. It's something he does.

The boys heard about The Lego Movie on Thursday. "Can we go see it, Mom?"

"I don't know. Let me think about it."

Five minutes later: "Do you think we can see it?"

Bless them. After the fact, I can see that this was the only idea they could think about, that their imagination was fired and there was no putting it out. And the fact that, after five minutes of patiently waiting, I had not also been thinking and coming up with an answer ... I think they were as patient as they could be. As for me, I figured I would not have any peace until we agreed. Grandpa had given Jadon some money so he could take the family to a movie (we had no idea). So the four older boys and Phil went and watched it, and Caleb and I spent a restful few hours in the car in the parking lot. I talked on the phone (full signal!) and made baby faces at the baby and read a book. I felt like I could have used even more time just sitting in the car. That would have been fine by me.

***

Speaking of patience (which the boys didn't show), a friend mentioned recently that she could not sing a line of a song, "Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander / And my faith will be made stronger / In the presence of my Savior." "Every time I've prayed that prayer, it's been a really painful time. Things are pretty good right now. I think I'd rather not rock the boat." I almost laughed out loud at that and said, "Well, I've prayed for patience, and haven't seen much evidence of that in my life!"

Then I stopped and realized, hmm. Maybe I do still want things to move faster. On the other hand, I spent almost four and a half years in a little construction trailer. Maybe I have more patience than I give myself credit for.

***

Speaking of where we live, I've been thinking lately about dwelling places. I suppose it may be human nature to want to feel like, "Hey, I made a good choice." I think back to our suburban home in Boulder, in an upper middle class neighborhood, surrounded, to some extent, by friends and culture and nature and family. As I say sometimes, "There was nothing in our life that was wrong. And so we moved to make life a little harder."

And I cannot imagine living there yet. How fierce the joy to wake to the sunrise, knowing that the day holds as much as I can do, but no more and no less.

How strange to look back, through almost half a decade, and feel so utterly content with the choice to leave.

***

Which is not to say that I think the days going forward will be easy. As Phil (sort of) nears the end of his major project for the last 18 months, what is next on the horizon? Is there anything actually profitable that he can do, that fits with our passions and preferences? We can hope so, although we don't see it yet.